Wishing and hoping


5.24, originally uploaded by jennifer.knutson.

I took this photo yesterday afternoon; after enjoying a couple of hours on the deck with a book and cool glass of water. I wanted to capture my laugh lines. Earlier in the day I watched a documentary about the Young at Heart Chorus and was struck by the beauty of the elders...many with wrinkles and grey hair. I love their version of Coldplay's Fix You. Their version of Dylan's Forever Young made me cry.

I am currently house and pet sitting in the country. I am watching 3 dogs and 2 cats and finding it at times blissful and at other times frustrating. It is odd to have my schedule somewhat ruled by the dogs' dinner time and it is fun to see their excitement about chasing a ball across the yard.

I am staying in the house alone, which is the first time I've spent extended period of time alone in years. I love having total control over household things...it is up to me how clean to keep the kitchen, what movie to watch, when to do laundry, how often to vacuum up dog hair (!). I realize that I contain both a need for alone time and a desire for community. Over the past two weeks of housesitting I've noticed my need for alone time outweighs my desire for community. I am enjoying reading books and sitting on the deck and working on approving of myself. I made 8 little cards with I Approve of Myself (pictured in previous post) and posted them around the house as a gentle reminder.

My wishes for the summer are:

* a home by the beach...this seems so impossible to me as I sit in the coffee shop but it is a huge (and constant) dream of mine

* the courage to lead a Mermaid art camp...I took the class now I need to follow through

* the ability to process shame and blame about my finances and to move forward towards a healthy relationship with money

If you have encouragement on any of these wishes I would love to receive it. If you want encouragment on your own summer wishes I would love to give it.

2 comments:

  1. i absolutely love this self portrait... i'm thinking it is my favorite... :)

    i would love to encourage you on all three of your summer wishes... especially encouragement for the next step; transitioning wishes into goals...

    i'm joining you on all three, but with slightly different twists to them...

    the first... to someday own a home again... (i happily live about 15 minutes from the beach now, and so that already feels really good to me)

    second... the courage to take more risks with my art...

    third... to find a way to stop worrying so much about money and all the ways i am limited when it comes to making money because of my health, and most especially when it comes to what the future may (or may not) hold...

    i suddenly had this image of us sitting in a lovely meadow, making our wishes, and blowing on a dandelion... sending those wishes into the wind :)

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  2. I tried to imagine what a Mermaid art camp is, but I would love to know for real.

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Sparklepoints to you for sharing!